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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870054">I'm Sorry That You Hate Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydream46000/pseuds/Daydream46000'>Daydream46000</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Apologies, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Brother Feels, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Canon Universe, Character Study, DON'T POST ELSEWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!, Emotional Roller Coaster, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Forgiveness, Gen, Guilt, Insight, Letters, Realization, Regret, The Author Regrets Nothing, Writing Exercise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:26:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydream46000/pseuds/Daydream46000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mikey writes a sincere apology letter and slides it under Donnie’s door, he reads it and feels overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. But is it too late to apologize? Set after *Darkest Plight (S4E21)*.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Donatello &amp; Michelangelo (TMNT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Sorry That You Hate Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is PURE brotherly fluff, NOT Tcest!!</p><p>Also, there are NO references to suicide in this fic, so don't worry.</p><p>Enjoy! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>NOBODY’S P.O.V.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b>****SUNDAY, 02/23/2014****</b>
</p><p>Two days earlier, it was the umpteenth time Donnie kicked Mikey out of his lab. But this time, the purple-clad ninja was beyond pissed off. Since then, he gave his baby brother the silent treatment, ignoring Mikey at every turn. That included meals, training, patrolling the city, and especially downtime.</p><p>Little did Donnie know, the orange-clad turtle was aware of this. He knew his brother’s reaction wasn’t anything new. Donnie had lashed out at him before, but what was so different about this time around? Was Mikey fed up? Or did he finally realize that nothing was gonna change no matter what he did. Okay, so maybe both, but mostly the latter.</p><p>Unless....he tried a new approach. Yeah! Mikey could do that! It was so easy! Or was it? Nonetheless, he had to let Donnie know how he felt about this. That way, things would get better between them. They’d manage to mend their brotherhood for good this time. </p><p>Or would it make things worse? Maybe the genius would shun his little brother forever instead. Maybe he’d never talk to him again. It broke Mikey’s heart just thinking about it, but he had to take that risk. It was the only way to get through to Donnie. So if that didn’t work....then the prankster would ultimately give up and stop trying.</p><p>Besides, one-sided relationships never worked out. It didn’t matter what kind of relationship it was. Whether it was between siblings (like Donnie &amp; Mikey) or romances (like Donnie &amp; April), it was still a relationship. It was still a close-knit bond between two people. </p><p>So that’s why Mikey had to try. He still cared about Donnie enough to maintain their brotherhood, even though the feeling wasn’t mutual. But how would he express that exactly? Oh right! By writing a heartfelt letter, ‘cause that always did the trick. </p><p>Of course, Mikey never actually wrote a letter to him before. In fact, this was his first time doing it, because why not? Talking never really solved their problems, but writing? That was the other end of the spectrum. In other words, perhaps it was a better communication system for both of them.</p><p>Breathing slowly, the orange-clad ninja picked up a brand new writing utensil and tore off a piece of lined paper from his notebook as said to himself: “Well—here goes nothing.”</p><p>With that, he started jotting down everything that was on his mind. Once Mikey was finished, he quickly wiped away sweat from his forehead and got up, sealing the letter inside a white envelope.</p><p>“Perfect!” he exclaimed softly, smiling in earnest.</p><p>Turning around, the prankster left his bedroom and slid the envelope underneath Donnie’s lab door, making sure it was on the other side before tiptoeing away from the scene and into the dojo, where Splinter called him for his daily meditation session.</p><hr/><p>Meanwhile, Donnie himself was bored out of his mind, tinkering with his screwdrivers. Every minute, he was growing more impatient, taking deep, frustrated breaths.</p><p><em> What to do, </em> <em>what</em> <em> to do. Hmm....I dunno. I’m </em> <b> <em>stumped</em></b><em>! On </em> <b> <em>one</em> </b> <em> hand, I need to figure out </em> <b> <em>why</em> </b> <em> April’s so </em> <em>attached</em> <em> to that </em> <b> <em>crystal</em></b><em>. But on the </em> <b> <em>other</em> </b> <em> hand, there’s the </em> <b> <em>Super Shredder</em> </b> <em> situation. Urgh! I can’t </em> <b> <em>believe</em> </b> <em> I’m sayin’ this, but there’s </em> <b> <em>too much</em> </b> <em> to </em> <em>think about</em><em>! I need to </em> <b> <em>distract</em> </b> <em> myself! </em>He complained.</p><p>But how would he do that? Hmm. Well—Donnie did notice something near the door. Curious, he stood up and dragged himself towards it, bending down to pick it up with both hands. </p><p>With a shocked gasp, he realized it was addressed to him. Holy crap! But who wrote it? That was the real question, and so he immediately unsealed the envelope and began reading it, not wanting to miss a single detail.</p><hr/><p>
  <b>Hey Donnie :)</b>
</p><p><b>      I know what you’re thinking right now. Why did Mikey write this stupid letter in the first place? Frankly, I’m surprised he </b> <b> <em>can</em> </b> <b> read and write! Well don’t worry. I know how to do both, so yay. Big surprise there.</b></p><p>
  <b>      Anyway, before you crumple this piece of paper and throw it in the trash, just please hear me out, okay? I promise to keep this short and simple. Well—not really. It’s gonna be a loooong one, so brace yourself.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>      First off, I wanted to apologize for going inside your lab without permission—again. I know how much you value your alone time and need to focus on your experiments and stuff, so yeah. It was rude of me and I’m really sorry about that. I’ll try not to bother you like that in the future, but I highly doubt I can keep that promise for very long. Either way, it’s worth a shot.</b>
</p><p><b>      It’s funny. After you yelled at me two days ago, I had a realization about the two of us and where we stand. It’s pretty obvious that before we went up to the surface as a team + celebrating our 15th mutation day (anniversary), we were best friends, always hanging out together and </b> <b> sorta </b> <b> telling each other everything.</b></p><p><b>      But then April came along and our family instantly became bigger. In other words, you gained a new best friend. Now don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t </b> <b> jealous </b> <b> or anything and I’m still not, but it felt like we were slowly drifting apart. I mean, we still talked and stuff, but not really. Know what I’m sayin’?</b></p><p><b>      Then April’s dad was mutated, and everything went downhill. You started avoiding everybody, especially </b> <b> me</b><b>, because deep down, you </b> <b> <em>knew</em> </b> <b> it was my fault. But guess what? I thought that too. It wasn’t our collective mistake. It was </b> <b> mine</b><b>, and mine </b> <b> alone</b><b>. If only I paid attention to what was happening, I wouldn’t have screwed up so badly and April wouldn’t have been pissed off with us. But you already knew that, despite not saying it out loud.</b></p><p><b>      So I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m </b> <b> <em>so</em> </b> <b> sorry for screwing up your relationship with April and that </b> <b> I’m </b> <b> the reason she had trouble trusting you afterwards. I’m sorry I ruined a lot of your experiments. And I’m really sorry for constantly ruining your life by being a screw-up in general.</b></p><p>
  <b>      But most of all, I’m sorry that you hate me so much. Everything I did just made things worse for you, so no wonder you kept lashing out at me. I know you probably asked for a more intelligent little brother, but instead you’re stuck with me. If I had an IQ as high as yours, I wouldn’t want me around either.</b>
</p><p><b>      Despite everything though, I don’t think you’re a bad person. Everyone gets mad sometimes (especially Raph). Hell, even </b> <b> I </b> <b> do! But being angry doesn’t mean you're a cold, heartless son of a bitch. It just means you’re human (not </b> <b> literally</b><b>, but metaphorically). We all are. So you’re allowed to be mad too, not just Raph. </b></p><p><b>      In fact, I’ve realized your anger’s really out of </b> <b> concern </b> <b> over my safety. It makes sense. I’m your only little brother and deep down, you don’t want me to get hurt. You just want me safe and I get that. I really do. And you know what? I love you for that. Sure, Leo and Raph are also good big brothers, but you always acted like the true big bro in my life, and I’m so grateful for it.</b></p><p><b>      So I’ll try to be more careful from now on. I won’t enter your lab without permission ever again. If you don’t want us to hang out anymore either, I understand. I’ll do whatever makes you happy ‘cause you’ve already done </b> <b> so much </b> <b> for me. If that’s not enough, feel free to cut me out of your life or never speak to me again. Anyway, it’s </b> <b> your </b> <b> decision, so whatever you choose, I’ll do just that.</b></p><p><b>      And last but not least, I know you’ve blamed </b> <b> yourself </b> <b> for a lot of things too. But just so you know, Mr. O’Neil’s mutation, freezing the Pulverizer, the Kraang invasion, Leo’s coma, the Earth disappearing—</b><b><em>none</em> </b> <b> of those things were your fault. And I </b> <b> never </b> <b> blamed you for it, not even </b> <b> once</b><b>. You were just trying to do what you thought was right, and so what if you made a few mistakes? You’re not the screw-up. </b> <b> I </b> <b> am!</b></p><p><b>      No matter what happened back then, I still love you bro. Leo and Raph do too ‘cause you’re </b> <b> their </b> <b> little brother too (not just me). And guess what? I’ll </b> <b> always </b> <b> love you man. We all do. </b> <b> You’re </b> <b> our rock, our sunshine—not me. You’ve always lit up the room with your awesome ideas, unlike me. Seriously, you’re the one who managed to keep us alive for so long. I would’ve accidentally killed all of us otherwise by doing something extremely stupid.</b></p><p><b>      So yeah. This is basically my apology letter to you ‘cause you deserve it. And like I said many times before, I love you D—I always will. You’ll always be my big bro and best friend no matter what. I’ve never thanked you enough for saving my shell a bunch of times. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been </b> <b> dead </b> <b> already. </b></p><p><b>      But I know how much you hate me, and that’s fine. It’s </b> <b> okay</b><b>. You don’t have to pretend anymore and I won’t either. So I wanted to say—I’m sorry that you don’t love me back. I’m sorry I’m not the little brother you asked for, and I’ll try as hard as I can to fix that. Overall, I’m sorry that you had to put up with me for so long, but don’t worry. You won’t have to anymore.</b></p><p>
  <b>      I love you, big brother, and I’ll keep my distance. All my sincerest apologies.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>~Mikey~</b>
</p><hr/><p>Once Donnie finished reading the last sentence, he gently placed the letter down on the table and buried his face in his arms, tears cascading down his face like a waterfall. His eyes soon turned red and puffy but he didn’t care. He needed time to process everything his baby brother wrote, and oh boy! It was undoubtedly an emotional rollercoaster.</p><p>Obviously, Donnie wasn’t one to cry so easily, but if he did, then you knew the situation was bad. And at this point, the poor genius was bawling his eyes out. Lucky for him, Leo and Raph were currently out on patrol and wouldn’t return for another few hours, so he could openly cry in peace.</p><p>Overwhelming feelings of sorrow and regret had clouded his mind and heart simultaneously. Was this how Mikey felt all this time? Did Donnie really treat his little brother <em>that </em>badly for him to write this gut-wrenching message?</p><p><em> Well </em> <em>obviously</em> <em> that’s <strong>why</strong> he </em> <em>did it</em><em>, you </em> <b> <em>moron</em></b><em>! </em> The genius silently berated himself.</p><p>No! Donnie couldn’t take it anymore. He had to make things right between them. He had to find Mikey and let him know how much he loved him and how special Michelangelo was, being his only little brother. He couldn’t allow their relationship to go down the drain just like that. </p><p>Mikey had mentioned it was Donnie’s decision. In a way, without knowing it, Donatello was given an ultimatum—make amends or permanently go their separate ways. But Donnie couldn’t bear to lose his baby brother. Imagining life without Mikey in it (alive or dead) was unthinkable, so he knew what he had to do. <b><em>Find </em></b><em><strong>him</strong>. </em></p><hr/><p>“You have significantly improved on your meditation skills, Michelangelo. I am very proud of you, my son,” Splinter complimented his youngest child while caressing his head.</p><p>Beaming up at him, Mikey replied, “Thanks, Master Splinter.”</p><p>Chuckling, the rat added, “Now, you are dismissed. Perhaps you should check to see if the pizzas you ordered have arrived.”</p><p>“Sure will, sensei!” the prankster responded, giving his dad a thumbs up before sprinting towards the living room, aiming for the couch.</p><p><em>Might as well </em> <em>sit</em> <em> and </em> <b> <em>wait</em></b><em>! </em> He thought excitedly.</p><p>However, he accidentally bumped into a large figure who was considerably more slender and a few feet taller. That said figure abruptly turned around and stared into Mikey’s baby blue eyes with intense emotion.</p><p>“D-Donnie?” the orange-clad turtle blurted out in shock. <b> <em>Why</em> </b> <em> does D look like a complete </em> <b> <em>zombie</em> </b> <em> today, and how come there’s an </em> <b> <em>envelope</em> </b> <em> in his hand with his </em> <b> <em>name</em> </b> <em> on it—</em><b><em>oh</em></b><em>. </em></p><p>And that’s when Mikey realized....<em>Oh </em> <b> <em>shit</em></b><em>! No no no! Wait—did Donnie </em> <b><em>read </em></b><em>it</em><em>?? Did he—</em><b><em>fuck</em></b><em>! If he did—oh </em> <em>boy</em><em>! I’m </em> <b> <em>dead</em></b><em>. Or is he </em> <b><em>so </em></b><em>pissed</em> <em> that he </em> <b> <em>didn’t</em> </b> <em> read it and wants to </em> <b><em>throw </em></b><em>it</em> <em> in my </em> <strong><em>face</em></strong> <em> instead? </em></p><p>All of a sudden, Donnie started leaning towards him, causing Mikey to panic a little. <b> <em>Crap</em></b><em>! He’s gonna </em> <b> <em>hit</em> </b> <em> me! Better duck </em> <b> <em>fast</em></b><em>!</em></p><p>Before he could move, the scientist’s arms wrapped around his shell and brought the pizza master close to his own chest, burying his face in Mikey’s shoulder, sobbing out apologies.</p><p>Three minutes later, Donnie pulled away and kissed his baby brother’s forehead twice, apologizing for the silent treatment he gave him plus the other times he lashed out at him. In addition, Donnie admitted that he never hated Mikey, no matter how pissed off he was at times. After all, he <em> was </em> his only little brother.</p><p>“A-After April’s dad was mutated, I was so messed up! I-I thought—! I thought she’d never come back, a-and then she did! B-But a part of me did blame you for it, and I hate myself for thinking that ‘cause it wasn’t your fault! I’m <em> so </em> sorry, Mikey! P-Please forgive me! I-I’ve been such a horrible big brother to you a-and—! I’m <em> sorry</em>!” he blubbered.</p><p>“So—you <em>don’t</em> hate me?” Mikey asked, a bit confused. </p><p>Donnie shook his head tearfully in response. He elaborated further by saying how he never wanted Mikey to change who he was and that he loved his personality. In reality, Mikey was their sunshine, not Donnie. And Mikey was certainly not stupid. He was smart in his own way.</p><p>“I-I love you, Mikey. I love you <em> so </em>much! Y-You <em> are </em> good enough! And of course I want you around! Sure, you’re annoying at times, but more importantly, you’re my only little brother and don’t you ever forget that!” the genius choked out.</p><p>“You love me!” the youngest whispered, mouth agape. </p><p>That was all Mikey wanted to hear, the confirmation he needed from Donnie this whole time. To know that he still cared about him despite everything. To know how much Mikey was loved and wanted from his older brother/best friend.</p><p>“Y-You love me?” he repeated, tears leaking out of his bright blue eyes while failing to stifle his sobs.</p><p>The scientist nodded fervently as he stroked Mikey’s cheeks softly, giving him another tight squeeze and kissing the top of his head. At this point, Donnie managed to calm himself down. In the meantime, Mikey became a mess.</p><p>“I-I thought—! I thought you’d hate me forever and we w-wouldn’t be brothers anymore!” the youngest whimpered.</p><p>“No, little brother. I promise you, that will <em> never </em> happen,” Donnie shushed him gently, caressing the back of his head.</p><p>Mikey continued sobbing in his big brother’s hold for 20 more minutes before he took shaky breaths, wiping his swollen red-rimmed eyes.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry, D. I didn’t mean to make you upset. All I wanted was for us to be okay again, a-and — ” he murmured apologetically.</p><p>“Hey, don’t be. It’s <em>okay</em>. We’re gonna be okay, Mike. In fact, this is a good thing. That means we can work on improving our communication. So overall, we’ll be okay—as long as we have each other,” the genius reassured him with a warm smile, stroking Mikey’s cheeks.</p><p>“Really?” </p><p>Donnie hummed twice in response, which made the former sigh in relief. The two of them shared one more hug. Suddenly, a thought occurred in Mikey’s mind.</p><p>“Hey D?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I forgive you—and I love you too,” he muttered in Donnie’s plastron.</p><p>Struggling not to cry tears of happiness, the scientist pulled Mikey closer and kissed his head again. Deep down, both boys knew that things would get better with time. Sure, they’d have more fights in the future, but for now, their brotherly love was more than enough.</p><p> </p><p>C’EST FINI 😊</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yeah, I know this is a bit rushed, but I really tried my best (sort of). :)</p><p> </p><p>I DO NOT OWN *TMNT (2012)*!! ALL CANON dialogues/scenes belong to the WRITERS/PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS of the show!! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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